


Charming

by AmyNChan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hogwarts Mystery
Genre: And she's just a Hufflepuff who wants everyone to be safe, F/M, Fifth Year spoilers, Hogwarts Fifth Year, She just needs a hug and a good cry ok?, She's almost sixteen, Spoilers, and all over the place, and gone through Too Much, but life's not fair, but this character is done, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 14:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19855522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyNChan/pseuds/AmyNChan
Summary: She felt so lost.  Like her world was breaking apart.  Likeshewas breaking apart.  Her heart hurt; hersoulhurt.Shehurt.And so she cried





	Charming

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this girl has been through Too Much and any normal kid would have broken down _several times_ by now. #letMyOChaveAHealthyBreakdown
> 
> Also, my MC has glasses; short, red hair; fair skin; and green-blue eyes. Just because I realized that I didn't put that kind of info in-story.

Today was too much.

She tried to keep herself busy and upbeat. She really did. She made sure to have a meal with one of her friends at least twice a day, played gobstones to keep her mind busy, and had become quite the regular at the Three Broomsticks. One could never say that the animals she had bonded with were undervalued or not cared for in any capacity, and she always kept a close eye on her classes to ensure that she was learning every bit of magical knowledge she could get her hands on, History of Magic notwithstanding, of course.

But there were lulls. Times when her friends couldn’t make lunch, or time to play, or run with her to get a Butterbeer. There were moments when her animals would much rather roam their natural habitats than allow her to care for them. And there were points where she was too tired to even enter the Charms classroom, despite the class being her favorite.

It was during these lulls that she often didn’t know what to do with herself, and she often found herself alone with the painful thoughts within her mind.

Her time in Hogwarts had been spent carving a bit of a name for herself. Friends, strangers, and even enemies knew that she would drop everything in order to help another student in need. Only she knew that she did this in order to avoid the trappings of her own mind for as long as possible.

Unfortunately, she knew all too well that such trappings could not be staved off indefinitely. In order to deal with them, she had run to one of the only places where she could try to recollect herself. One of the only places where she couldn’t burden others with the pain that echoed inside of her.

The courtyard was out, despite it being a wonderful day outside. Many other students had thought the same and had taken advantage of the gentle sunshine. Today, there would be no solitude to be found in the courtyard.

The dormitory was out, despite it being built to _be_ a safe space for students to hide away and/or sleep. She knew Rowan was studying in the dormitory and, as much as she loved the girl, she did _not_ need another excited discussion about the properties of specific woods on wands and the magic they could produce.

The only place that she knew she wouldn’t bother anyone else was here, in the Artifact Room. Its previous resident having decided that he was far too _brave_ and _headstrong_ to afford such comforts, she knew the room would be empty unless anyone was looking to break a rule. And her being a prefect, she knew that her mere _presence_ would deter such rule breakers and that she would be allowed to fall apart in peace.

Thinking about Ben gave her pause and she let out a watery scoff. Ben had been one of her first friends when she’d arrived to Hogwarts, and she’d always wanted to see him grow into some confidence. She had been so _excited_ when they went to the Celestial Ball together, thinking so naively that he would somehow remain gentle and understanding as he grew into whatever self-assuredness would come to him in life.

But then life had thrown them _Rakepick_. Though she’d taken to calling her Rake _prick_ in private. It just made more sense to her.

Rakeprick was the reason Jacob had been missing for so long. The reason he’d run off _now_. Was he alive? Was he safe? Was he eating well? Was he ever going to come back to them? She had to believe he was. After only a few _precious_ seconds with her brother, he’d apparated away in a furious rage, fully intent on hunting down the woman who had snatched him away from his life, his future, and his family. She wondered if he realized that this time, he was the one who was snatching himself away from coming home, and it only added to her tears.

The vile woman in whom they had once placed their trust had also tortured Merula in front of her very eyes, breaking whatever small amounts of kindness the girl had grown over five years. The ‘most powerful witch at Hogwarts’ had crumbled against the Cruciatus Curse, and she had been right at her side when she’d briefly confided in her need to see her parents. It was so human and so raw that it had nearly broken her to hear that. She shouldn’t have said that Merula was ruining everything when the Slytherin girl had rejected her in the Hospital Wing. But now that the damage was done, the student could feel her heart break even more at her rival’s quickly solidifying fate.

And that foul cursebreaker had encouraged and then thrown Ben headfirst into danger, somehow inspiring him to become even more aggressive and reckless. It was a change she had noticed over their fifth year, the recklessness taking him over bit by tiny bit. But with every bold declaration, he’d moved further down the path of complete arrogance until she knew it was far too late. He’d gotten the confidence she’d hoped he would, and he had sacrificed his empathy as a result. She didn’t _know_ him anymore…

School was hard enough when she only had to worry about her classes. Potions with Snape was a constant struggle of the mind, Transfiguration was a difficult subject to fully grasp, and Flying class constantly threw her out of her comfort zone and made her uneasy before she could fly around with confidence. Now with strained friendships, a renewed rivalry against someone she’d _hoped_ would become a friend, and a brother who didn’t seem to even _care_ about coming home…

She felt so lost. Like her world was breaking apart. Like _she_ was breaking apart. Her heart hurt; her _soul_ hurt.

She _hurt_.

And so she cried, her body wedged between the old bookcase and chalkboard whose writing never changed. Her sobs wracked her entire being as she did her best to relieve the stress on her own. Like a child, she balled her fists and rubbed her wrists into her eyes, bumping her glasses in the process and doing very little to quell the tears that simply would not cease.

Rakeprick had betrayed them all. The Ben she had known was well and truly gone. Merula was hell-bent on revenge and death. Jacob had _thrown her aside_.

That last notion cut her deeply, her heart fracturing. She had always made it her number one priority to find her brother. He’d always come first. Breaking the curses of the vaults had always been to save someone else. From ice, from terror, from the creatures of the forest, from madness. She’d plunged forward in order to keep others away from danger and to find her brother, to bring him home. For eight years, she’d dedicated most of her extra time to it, pushing forward whenever she thought she had nothing left to give. And when she’d _finally_ found him and _finally_ been given the chance to bring him home…

He’d fled. He hadn’t even _considered_ coming back with her.

And all she could feel was alone when she thought like this.

She took a deep, shuddering breath, and that’s when she heard it.

_Tap…_

Her hands stilled and the breath she had just gotten back hitched. Quickly, she wiped away what tears she could and glanced around the Artifact Room, straightening her glasses to make sure she didn’t miss anything. But even though her visibility was low in this dark space, she knew that no one had entered.

She was still alone.

_Tap…_

In the silence, it was easier to tell where the sound was coming from. _Much_ easier. She glanced at the doorway, and then along the bottom gap to confirm what she suspected.

Honestly, what she _suspected_ was two feet, someone probably standing in order to knock on the door. What she _didn’t_ suspect was most of the light to be gone, a little bit peeking through on both sides of the little gap between the floor and door.

_Tap…_

Someone was sitting outside the door, tapping on it softly in a slow, steady rhythm.

She forced herself to breathe. An enemy would have come in while she wasn’t paying attention—and it saddened her that that was her _first_ thought. It was sad, but practical. Breaking curses and facing against an entire organization tended to make one some enemies.

_Tap…_

She took another breath, feeling a few more tears leak from her eyes. These tears had manifested from the surprise of the tapping, and she was glad they were making themselves known now rather than later.

Should she wait for the tapper to go away? But they were sitting down, which meant they planned to stay for a while. And they _had_ to have heard her crying. How long had they been there…?

_Tap…_

Another breath. She let this one be slow and released it just as slowly. Despite her attempt to be languid, she couldn’t help the trailing sniffles that typically came after a crying session like this.

If this kept up, then—

_Tap…_

Inhale.

Exha—

“Hic—!”

She slapped a hand over her mouth, but it was too late. She glanced at the bottom of the door and noticed that the shadow had shifted.

“Did…did you just hiccup?”

“Tal—hic!—bott?” It would have been a full gasp if she hadn’t hiccuped. But she knew this happened every time she cried too hard, so she wasn’t too bothered by the interruption. Instead, she was more concerned with her friend’s presence outside the door. She scrambled to her feet.

“Yeah.” His voice seemed muffled from the other side of the door and she briefly wondered if she should open it. There wasn’t any reason _not_ to. She didn’t own the room after all, and he might have needed something important, but…

“You seemed a bit upset when we were talking earlier.”

She blinked. Talbott often accused her of being attentive when they snuck down to the Three Broomsticks together, but it took one to know one. She thought she’d been able to keep herself together well enough earlier, through their conversation and goodbyes. Apparently, she hadn’t been able to hide her fraying edges well enough.

“I…”

But what could she say? “Yes, Talbott, I _have_ been very upset. Merula hates me again, Rakepick betrayed us all, my first crush is now an asshole, and my brother hates me”?

But she couldn’t very well say “I’m fine” either. He’d just sat outside the door for who knows how long listening to her cry her heart out. He was here because he _knew_ she wasn’t fine. And she wouldn’t insult him by trying to lie and tell him that she was.

“Hic—!”

“Those sound bad,” said the boy from the other side of the door. The change of topic lifted the weight of decision from her and she found herself nodding almost eagerly.

“They—hic!—are.”

There was a pause from the other side of the door, and she found herself edging towards it. Her progress was slow in the dark, but at least she was moving. She didn’t know yet if that was a good thing or not. “Are you going to need some water?”

She thought about it. Water usually helped. She almost always needed some after crying, and it almost always stopped her odd tic. “May—hic!—be.” 

She heard rustling from beyond the door. He was getting up, and she wasn’t sure what he was going to do next. She put her hand up against the door, wondering if… if it was okay if she…

“Can I come in?”

He hadn’t finished speaking when the door opened, her fingers wrapped around the doorknob. A brief look at his eyes—a burnt red color that had come to mean ‘warmth’ and ‘peace’ to her—told him… _something_. And whatever it was, it made him hurry inside. Quickly, she shut the door behind him and did something she probably should have done when she first came in here:

She found the light and switched it on.

And despite having come into the Artifact Room to get away from people, she found that Talbott’s presence didn’t worry her. As she looked at him, she was very quickly reminded that he had jumped several centimeters over the summer, and his eagle-like features seemed to observe her steadily. She wasn’t suddenly energized or feeling one hundred percent, but she felt…peaceful…in his presence. Like the troubles that had been stressing her and pushing her steadily to her breaking point were beginning to back away.

“Hic—!”

She brought her hands up to her mouth, a flush coming over her cheeks. Talbott didn’t smile, but he nodded and his frown lessened. He turned to rifle through a few items in the Artifact Room and quickly seemed to find what he was looking for. He pulled it out of its hiding space in the cabinet, but she couldn’t see what it was when he pulled out his wand. She saw him wave it twice—it looked as though he were tapping it on something—and she could swear she heard him say “ _vera verto_ ”. Her thoughts were confirmed when he turned around with a water goblet that looked far too nice to have been hiding in the Artifact Room for at least five years.

He held it out to her.

“Do I wanna know—hic!—what this was—hic!—before?”

“I don’t know,” replied her Ravenclaw classmate, a smirk on his lips. “Do you?”

She pursed her lips and examined him for a moment before another hiccup forced her to break character. She knew that the transfiguration had made whatever it _had_ been into a _clean_ cup. Talbott wouldn’t do anything to make her sick. She accepted the goblet with a small smile.

“Thank you, hic—!” She covered her mouth and looked at the goblet, not entirely surprised to find it empty.

“Think you can conjure up some water?” he asked. She rose an eyebrow, not trusting herself to speak, much less cast a spell. He shrugged. “You’re better at charming than I am.”

She couldn’t help but smile a little at that. Talbott was a genius when it came to Transfiguration and Defense Against The Dark Arts. He was even strong enough in Potions to earn Snape’s reluctant praise. But when it came to Charms, he almost always wanted her help with it.

She never minded, though. It was her favorite subject.

With another hiccup, she pulled out her wand and pointed it at the newly made goblet. She took a deep breath and waited. Talbott didn’t rush her. He stood beside her and kept one hand out to help her keep the goblet steady.

“Hic—! _Aguamenti_.”

Steadily, the goblet filled with pure, clean water. Once it was filled to the brim, Talbott nudged the goblet up and she obediently drank from it. The water rushed down her throat and helped to soothe the ache she felt from within. It was a temporary relief, she knew, but oh-so-desperately needed.

Soon thereafter, the cup was drained. She felt a little better, but the exhaustion still haunted her. This was far more peaceful than crying alone and yet she wasn’t better. A great portion of herself wanted to be better _now_ so she could get enough energy to distract herself again or just make it seem as though everything were normal for just a _little_ longer or—

“You know…” Talbott’s voice drew her attention to him. She wasn’t surprised to find that he had been watching her—he was known for being quite observant—but she couldn’t stop feeling the smallest bit embarrassed that she had spaced out on him like that. “You don’t have to feel okay all the time.”

Her face flushed, this time from the embarrassment of being reminded that he had overheard her falling to pieces. That was one thing she tried never to show _anybody_ , and yet… Yet his intelligent eyes seemed to empathize with her just as much as they seemed to study her.

“If you need to be alone to let yourself be not okay, I understand. There are some things that are just easier to do when you’re on your own. But just know that none of us expect you to be one hundred percent all the time. So if you’re going off on your own because you think we can’t stand to see you fall apart, you don’t have to. Any one of us are willing to help catch you when you fall down.”

She stared at him, trying to puzzle out his words. It sounded so…against…everything she’d thought since arriving to Hogwarts.

Rowan often seemed so _relieved_ when she took the role of solid leadership in their friend group that she didn’t know how her oldest friend would react to seeing her in her moments of deepest doubt and pain.

Penny socialized everywhere, and she helped keep Penny grounded. It wasn’t all the time, of course, but there was a corner of her mind that wondered what on earth would happen if both of them showed their weaknesses at the same time, and that it was better to avoid taking such chances.

Tonks and Tulip often joked their way out of seriousness and serious topics, and it was often her responsibility to bring them both back to the realm of reality when push came to shove. There were many times the two had tried to cheer her with distraction, and there were times that distraction just…didn’t work anymore.

Barnaby held the group together sometimes through a sheer desire to keep everyone happy and an inability to see anyone upset, and she’d always assumed that included her. The last time everyone had shown pain and anger and frustration in front of him, he’d made such a face of pain and sorrow that she vowed never to take part in making him express it ever again.

Andre was always there to talk Quidditch and fashion, but she wasn’t sure about crying on him. She didn’t even know if he had _time_ for anyone to be crying on him with his busy schedule.

Charlie seemed more interested in dragons than anything else—a fact that she didn’t think would change regardless of what had happened last year. And while he could probably understand a brother’s departure—Bill’s absence was _still_ something she had to get used to—he could at least write to _his_ brother or see him if things got really rough at school. It might be petty, but she wasn’t sure she could cry to any of the Weasleys about this particular pain and not feel the excruciating jaws of envy.

Jae was always there if she needed a black-market deal or if she wanted to try something dangerous, but she wasn’t sure if her friendship with him could withstand her own emotional turmoil. 

Badeaa would always remain in her artistic world and she would always support that, but her friendship with the artist was still in its budding stages. Too green and too new to shake so violently with this earthshattering ache.

Liz and Diego were both wonderful people so far, but she had to be honest with herself and admit that she didn’t know either of them well enough for this kind of conversation. It would probably take a very long time for them to build up to that point.

And Talbott…was standing right here. They had made some amazing progress in their relationship last year, open to trying new things together and communicating happy things since their eventful night in Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. But she would have wondered if he would _want_ to go through this emotional upheaval with her when it was so negative. So ugly. So painful and _raw_.

And yet…here he was. Offering. And it confused her.

But more than that…it _comforted_ her.

“I don’t… _want_ to be alone…” she confessed. She remembered how desperately she had spent time with her parents over the summer break, and just how much her parents had spent time with her. They had bonded through the years over their shared grief concerning Jacob’s fate, but that was something she couldn’t have indulged in this past summer. She couldn’t have shared the depth of her confused emotions with them this summer. The small comfort she had—as well as the gaping new wound she now bore—had been locked away inside her all summer.

And, damn it, she just needed to not bear it by herself for a while.

“I just need some time… to be upset. I want to get back up after it; I want to keep going and find my brother and graduate and live my life. I want to scold him for putting me and our parents through this and I want to bring him home safely. I want to close that chapter of my life and start my own life when I get there. When I _succeed_. But right now… right now, I just need to be upset and I don’t want to be alone and _I don’t want to lose any more friendships_.”

The Artifact Room got colder the more she spoke, or perhaps she did, and she rubbed one of her arms to try and keep the heat in through her admittedly heavy robes. She didn’t even try to hold back the fresh wave of tears now. She was just so tired.

And Talbott just kept watching her, his eyes losing the hard glint that came with his sometimes-analytical nature and allowing more of his soft and caring side through. The side that held onto his mother’s feather and the side that let him take a chance on her crazy, trusting heart against his judgement. He raised a hand slowly, silently asking for permission, and rested it on her shoulder.

And then the dam broke.

She closed the gap between them, seeking shelter in his embrace. She’d been holding back from hugging him because she knew that even with his emotional support, touching was a different matter entirely. But when he initiated contact, she knew it was okay to reciprocate. And she took advantage of it. She anchored her arms around him and hid her face away from the world. He was real, he was here, and he’d offered to help her ride this out.

His arms curled against her back, his joints locking her in place and grounding her. He bowed his head so that one cheek lay rested against the top of her hair and she felt his chest move in deep, relaxing, reassuring breaths.

“It’s okay,” he said, his voice rumbling through his chest and into her ears. “I’ll stay here to help you get through this. And I’ll be here to help you get back up when you’re ready.”

And he did. He stayed for the nearly three hours it took her to unload a summer’s worth of grief and confusion, the frustration at being so easily used by Rakeprick, and the loss of both a once-familiar friendship and a friendship that had almost been.

When she finished crying and gritting her teeth against the world, she loosened her grip. Enough to where she was no longer clutching at Talbott like a lifeline, but not enough to let him go entirely. Her arms stayed loosely clamped around him and her head now rested on him gently instead of pressed firmly against his chest. His own grip lessened, but he didn’t let go either.

Words seemed too shallow. He hadn’t _had_ to seek her out. He hadn’t _had_ to wait outside the Artifact Room until she could accept company. He hadn’t _had_ to transfigure something to make her smile. He hadn’t _had_ to figure out what troubled her so greatly. He hadn’t _had_ to stay with her. And yet he had.

He had, and words just seemed _too shallow_ to say what that meant to her.

“Thank you,” she whispered against him, hoping that the depth of her emotion could be heard through those two little words. “Thank you.”

His only response was a gentle squeeze. And she knew that he’d understood her.

**Author's Note:**

> Some of my own notes of what happened in-story:
> 
> 1) My OC really does love Charms. It's the Fun Class for her.
> 
> 2) Ben and Merula did get to me. Ben because I thought my OC would end up with him and then his attitude change over _several chapters_ caused me to drop him, and Merula because _she was getting a bit better_. Like Buford in Phineas and Ferb. I was so upset at her change back. :((
> 
> 3) hilariously, I did call her Rakep _r_ ick for the longest time because I'd misread it. XD Now I just call her that because it's funny
> 
> 4) Jacob, you suck. If you were my brother, I would have 100% found you, dragged you back home by your ear, and scolded you for good measure.
> 
> 5) In my head, Talbot's tapping whenever he breathes. He doesn't know if it'll help, but with a very upset MC inside the AR and nothing else he can do, pacing out breathing by tapping is a good idea. And it does eventually start working that way (until the dreaded hiccups XD). I also have no clue how long he was sitting there.
> 
> 6) Hiccups after crying. Pretty sure it's a thing.
> 
> 7) Talbott is a Transfiguration and DADA whiz and you can't convince me otherwise.
> 
> 8) Talbott actually isn't bad at Charms, imho, since you've got to be pretty well-rounded to be an auror. I think he just wants extra time with MC. XD and “You’re better at ~~being~~ charming than I am.” is Not The Best Pickup Line, Talbott. XD It's good for a 'what' moment, though.
> 
> “You’re better at being charming than I am.”  
> "What?"  
> “You’re better at charming than I am. You know, Charms class?”  
> "Oh, ok."  
>  _Whew..._
> 
> 9) Talbott encouraging MC to take care of herself by making her do the water making charm gives me life. fite me.
> 
> 10) I love Talbott and MC, thanks for coming to my TED talk.


End file.
